


Golden Light

by Miss_Murdered



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Olympic!Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 21:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3584712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Murdered/pseuds/Miss_Murdered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin makes it to the Olympics but it is a bitter sweet experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden Light

**Author's Note:**

> RL's been a little rough these last few weeks so some cathartic angst was required. >_

He was here. Finally. After all the years and the blood, sweat and tears. Rin was trying to forget the enormity of the moment as he walked from the locker rooms into the Olympic Aquatic Centre. He was zoning it out like he’d done through the heats and the quarter and semi-finals. He already had his goggles on and his swim cap, his headphones poised over his ears. It stopped the sound of the crowd from entering his head and obscured his vision enough that he was forced to focus on his feet rather than look up and see the stadium full of a cheering crowd with banners and flags.

The weight of it all was pressing down on Rin’s shoulders as he followed the swimmers in front to the starting block, each step feeling monumental as he took it. Once he got to his positon, lane five, a middle lane, Rin began the slow strip out of his Japanese team track suit so that he remained in just his team jammers. He took it slowly, a slight tremble to his hands as he realised this was _it._ This was his father’s dream. This was Rin’s dream. This was Haru’s dream, too. And it all came down to an 100m freestyle final against the best swimmers in the world.

But he could win gold, Rin told himself, as he could feel Haru close and he knew he could do it. He ignored his competitors as he removed his headphones and put his track pants and jacket in the basket provided. He knew some swimmers liked to try and play with their rivals but Rin was focused and he didn’t want some douche trying to knock him off his game. Rin needed to be in the zone. He couldn’t even think about Haru. Instead all he did was look towards the pool, his eyes narrowed and his body achingly ready for the moment of truth.

He heard his name called, the Matsuoka Rin sounded out by the stadium announcer and Rin looked up to the ceiling of the Aquatic Centre and waved vaguely towards the cameras and crowds. He knew his fans would want more from him, as Nagisa would say, “everyone wants a piece of Rin-chan now he’s super famous” but in this moment he couldn’t think about that. Rin just had to think about this race and fulfilling his dream.

The orders came through and there was a sudden hush on the whole place as the swimmers walked to their blocks. Rin took a moment, adjusted his googles and “pinged” them back against his head for luck before he poised himself into the starting position, his breathing slow and even as he thought only about his entry. It would be perfect. As good as Haru’s. Then Rin had no time to think as it was “go” and he was diving in, his body hitting the water in a graceful arc.

The pressure suddenly evaporated then as Rin swam the freestyle that Haru so loved and that had become Rin’s “main” event. He would compete in the butterfly too but freestyle had become where his heart lay. Must’ve been something to do with that blue eyed boy he’d been in love with most of his damn life. Must’ve been.

But Rin wasn’t really thinking of anything as he swam, his body a honed machine as he swept his arms and cut through the water, preparing for the turn and to make his way back towards where he’d started. And victory. He wanted gold.

Rin didn’t care about his competitors, he knew he was fast and he knew he’d made a good turn so all he could do was get to the end and win. He had to do it and he could. As he swam the last 50m his mind wandered as he thought about Haru in the water, his mind providing the mental image his eyes couldn’t see, the way Haru looked perfect in the water – like he belonged there. The images flickered in Rin’s head and he almost imagined him dolphin like ahead of him, almost like a damn merman and Rin powered his arms and legs for the last few metres as his mind replayed images and he felt Haru’s presence in the water.

It felt like home and Rin remembered Haru’s eyes and Haru’s fingers as he finally was in touching distance of the end, his hand slamming hard and his body coming to sudden stop as he reached the wall.

He looked up, his body trembling and he removed his goggles to see the score board, large and imposing above the stadium. And there it was.

_1: Matsuoka, Rin_

Rin wasn’t sure if he screamed in delight or cried first but both happened in quick succession as other athlete’s patted him on his broad shoulders. He’d done it – he’d won.

With shaking hands and legs, Rin made it out of the pool, the whirlwind of press interviews overwhelming him as he waved to his family and fans and thanked people in rushed broken English until he was able to speak to the Japanese reporter, delighted to see a familiar face of someone who had interview him before the Olympics.

Still wet and his body dripping, a Japanese flag somehow around his neck, Rin nodded through the interview, waving and smiling, tears streaming down his face with the water.

“Do you want to dedicate this win… like you said?” the reporter asked.

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice raw from the interviews and the shouting and the crying, “I want to dedicate this to my dad… and Haru who both can’t be here today.”

He was glad then that the next final was about to start and he was ushered back to the locker room as Rin then couldn’t hold in the emotion of the day. As Haru should’ve been with him – Haru should’ve got this gold but life was unfair and fucked up and Rin had to keep going and achieve it not just for him but for _both_ of them.

Rin wished it happened differently every day – that the car had swerved and hit him and not Haru. That he hadn’t sat with his dying boyfriend in the back of an ambulance as he bled inside. That he hadn’t watched the hasty attempts in the hospital to resuscitate and that he hadn’t stood lost and alone beside Haru’s bed, pushing aside his dark hair from his eyes and caressing his face. But it had happened that way.

He still remembered Makoto arriving and taking him away as Rin stood stubbornly, refusing to let go of Haru’s hand and Rin remembered crying into Makoto’s shirt for hours until he’d soaked it, his own hair having the stain of Makoto’s tears as they sat waiting for Nanase’s to arrive and see their son.

It still haunted Rin every day. Makoto still called him every day. It seemed they’d never get over it.

The time between the race and the medal ceremony gave Rin time to call his mother and Gou who were waiting in the stadium and Makoto and Sousuke who were back in Iwatobi. Hearing the voices of his family and friends calmed him and stopped the tears enough for Rin to feel ready for the ceremony, his hands no longer trembling and his eyes dry.

Walking back into the stadium was a momentous thing and unlike when he’d ignored the atmosphere prior to the race, Rin soaked it up, waving and smiling as he made his way to the podium and to the moment his life had led to. As he approached, Rin looked up to the glass above, the sky beginning to darken in the early evening and he tried to imagine that Haru was with him – that they’d got here together, that they’d stand on the podium, first and second, medals around their necks and they’d joke about who’d come second and how next time it was different.

But that had been lost and Rin stood alone as his name was announced, as he stood on the top step and waited for the medal to be hung around his neck and the flowers to be placed in his hand. The gold weighed heavily but he almost sensed Haru and his father there and he stood straight, the flowers in his fingers as he waited for the Japanese national anthem to be played, his eyes closing as the music started.

Rin had thought he’d cry then but instead, he only thought about all the plans he’d had with Haru, all the dreams they’d had together and all the hours they’d spent exhausted after training, smelling of chlorine and wrapped around one another and he smiled. As he’d always miss Haru, always love him and he’d always be broken by his death but as he stood on the top of the podium, the gold around his neck, he knew Haru was with him and he always would be.

As the anthem finished, Rin opened his eyes to see the crowds and he brought the gold medal to his lips, biting it between his sharp teeth for the photographs and as it slipped from his lips, he whispered.

“For you… Haru.”

And as he was rushed  away so the next ceremony could happen, Rin looked up to the darkening sky, a golden light from the setting sun and he remembered Haru’s soft smile and his blue eyes and it didn’t matter that Haru wasn’t in the Olympic stadium. As he was with Rin… every step of the way.  


End file.
